Many of us might have witnessed closed-door debates or private discourses between friends on how long can a woman stay without a man.
What is the motivation behind asking such a question?
Is it just curiosity or something more perverse than that?
Well, it can be either, or a mix of both. You will be surprised to know that there is much less curiosity around the reverse question, i.e. how long can a man stay without a woman.
People find it kinky to pry into a woman’s private life, especially thinking about what happens in her bedroom.
When people ask how long can a woman stay without a man, they mostly mean how long can a woman stay without making love.
However, both men and women are looking for emotional as well as physical gratification and we are going to deal with the question verbatim.
Before we get onto the question at hand we should be asking –
Under What Circumstances Does a Woman Stay Without a Man
Not finding a suitable partner
A woman may be willing to be courted, however she may not be able to find a suitable partner. It is one the most common causes of women staying away from men. It is usually like an interregnum which ends at some point in the future.
Unavailability of suitable options
This is a little different from the first reason. For instance, a woman living in a remote village may not have enough men who could be potential partners, especially if she is well-read.
Social Status
Extremely powerful women at the zenith of their careers sometimes choose to stay without men. The most prominent example is that of the “Virgin Queen”, Queen Elizabeth I, who never married. Also known as the “Maiden Queen”, she arguably led England through her golden age. Another prominent example from recent times is that of Condoleeza Rice, the 66th United States Secretary of State, who never married, and is known to have dated Rick Upchurch briefly.
Terminal Diseases or Psychological disorders
Many women choose to avoid relationships due to terminal illnesses or psychological disorders. The underlying reasons may include one or a combination of the following: –
- They may have a fear of being a burden on their partners.
- They may not want another person to invest their time and energy on someone who may be unable to fulfil their expectations emotionally and physically due to physiological or psychological reasons.
- Some women may avoid new relationships to save the emotional pain of witnessing their declining health and bidding final goodbye.
Religious Vows and Celibacy
In some religions, there is a tradition of men and women committing themselves to the faith which requires them to observe strict rules of chastity, including celibacy. You must have heard of Hindu Sādhvi, meaning saintly woman, who commit themselves to the spiritual path living an austere life.
Bad Experiences in the Past
Ugly past relationships can potentially have a long-lasting impact on an individual’s overall well-being. It can develop a chasm deep enough to compel a woman not to have a relationship for as long as the trust is not reestablished.
Age and Priorities
Younger women tend to focus more on their careers and relegate romantic relationships to the backseat. For them, the priority is to pursue their ambition and enjoy their time being single. With growing age, they may experience societal and peer pressure to have a relationship and settle down depending upon the kind of society they live in.
Sexual Abuse
Abuse of any kind can have devastating consequences on the minds of victims and can manifest itself in the form of distrust which prevents them from developing relationships. Such an experience can evoke a feeling of guilt in them and a fear of the partner learning about their experience and judging them.
Sexual Orientation
This one is obvious because cis-gender women who do identify as, say, lesbians or aromantic and asexual (AroAce) are not looking for male partners.
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The circumstances and causes behind a woman staying without a man would determine how long such a phase may potentially last. Equipped with the context and background of the question, let us now proceed to identify the right approach to examine how long can a woman stay without a man.
How to Approach the Question?
The basic principle of psychology that plays out here is that of “individual differences”. People display certain behaviors and behavioral patterns that are a function of their genetic constitution and the complex mix of environmental factors that they were exposed to in the past. The genetics and environment interact to produce diverse phenotypes with vastly different expressions.
The uniqueness of phenotypes drives individuals to react to similar stimuli in equally unique ways. Therefore, the expression of attributes of two individuals born to the same parents are different, barring a few similarities in, say height, facial features, etc.
This tells us that one cannot approach the question of how long can a woman stay without a man in a formulaic way.
A subjective question such as this requires careful treatment adequately providing for context and individual expressions, without jumping to assign patterns based on a handful of examples.
We have already understood the context of the problem discussed in section 1 of this article. What remains is to find out a way of dealing with individual expression.
For this, we will again turn to psychology which tells us that differences in behavioral patterns are often consistent and form a pattern. It means that people tend to show some predictability in their behavior and there isn’t much deviation from the pattern. Obviously, this predictability is also unique to every individual.
Nevertheless, it will prove useful to address the question at hand, equipped with a sound understanding of the context.
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Realistic Approach rather than an Idyllic one
We have seen attempts to provide answers to the question in an idyllic manner with statements, such as “when a woman chooses to have a man, it will be on her own terms”. It is obviously how it should be; however, it generalizes a very complex issue almost to the extent of trivializing it. Such a statement does not stand the test of reality and excludes a majority of women who are not in such a commanding position.
In the next section, we provide an analysis of how the reasons listed in section 1 of the article determine how long can a woman stay without a man.
How Long can a Woman Stay Without a Man – On the Timescale
The ability of a woman to live independently and thrive without a romantic partner is not limited by any specific duration. As we discussed in Section 1 and 2, the circumstances and choices of each woman are unique and there is no specific timeframe for how long can a woman stay without a man.
However, we can make some informed estimation as to how long such a spell – of a woman staying without a man – is expected to last, purely based on the circumstances mentioned in section 1 of this article.
Forever
Out of the nine different categories of circumstances under which a woman chooses to stay away from a man, in the following three circumstances a woman would stay away from a relationship with a man forever. Whether it is a choice, or a compulsion is a different question altogether.
- Religious Vows
- Terminal Illness or Psychological Disorders
- Sexual Orientation
The last of the three is a no-brainer. In the case of the first one, when a woman joins a religious order, she vows to live a life of chastity and austerity, of which celibacy and abstinence from marriage is a key part. They remain committed to the religious order which means that they stay away from romantic relationships for the rest of their lives. More often than not, it is their choice and motivated by love for God and a desire for selfless service to humanity.
In the second case, the decision of staying away from men is a compulsion induced by physical or mental debilitation and the fear of causing pain to their partner due to their condition. However, if they have hopes of tiding over their illness and leading a reasonably healthy life, they may happily start courting again.
Indefinitely
Some experiences in the past, such a violent past relationship or sexual abuse, continue to haunt a person and prevent them from getting into a romantic relationship due to the ensuing trauma. So, in the following two circumstances women may stay away from men indefinitely.
- Bad experiences in the past
- Sexual Abuse
The feeling of betrayal and fear of re-victimization may keep women from getting into a relationship with men indefinitely until the post-traumatic stress withers away.
For a Certain Period
Some women may want to focus on their ambition and choose to stay away from men for a certain length of time. It is a way of keeping distractions at bay.
Also in this category are women who are extremely successful in the society, such as politicians or diplomats who have commitments towards their constituency or the government which leaves them with little time to think about romance and relationships.
Such women are single by choice and may pursue a romantic relationship after a certain period when they are relatively more at ease in their public or professional lives.
They set an example of how other women can focus on personal growth, career goals and other pursuits without being in a romantic relationship. It shows their outstanding ability to be independent and succeed without a man’s support.
Temporarily
This is the most interesting of all because a majority of women who are staying away from men fall in this category.
The circumstances under which women choose to stay away from men are –
- Unable to find a Suitable Partner
- Unavailability of a Suitable Partner
Sometimes you get stuck in a setting where there are hardly any men who interest you. It may be because of the nature of your profession where you do not have too many men around you. For instance, in the field of education there aren’t too many men which limits the opportunities for a woman to find a romantic partner.
Similarly, there are occasions when you get posted in a place where there are no men who fit your conception of a partner.
In both cases, it is just a matter of time before they turn the circumstances around and find a partner.
Conclusion
The event of a woman staying single for any length of time in her life is not always a choice. It should certainly not be judged as a test of her endurance to abstain from men or sex for that matter.
How long can a woman stay without a man is more a function of the circumstances that she finds herself in which may compel her to do so. Notably, there may be circumstances in which she may have the choice of living independently without a relationship to pursue her dreams.
After all, the feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment are not prisoner to a woman’s relationship status.
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